Mother, I Am Sorry
by Bloody Nikki
Summary: The River Ocean Has A Well Of Its Own. One Must Let The Water Flows Where It Must. Merlin was the living proof that the River Of Time runs its own course and comes full circle. A thousand years ago, he drunk from the Holy Grail, yet he had only been born roughly Three hundred years before Emma freed him. Family? Canon


**Notes** : So, this is set before Family? And 7th Sister. This is canon to both stories as the events of the curse is what tried the course of the casts lives. This is meant to be a one-shot. So, I really don't want to hear about adding a second chapter talk from all of you. (I know I will still hear it.) If Merlin does meet his mother, it will happen within one of the two stories (or both).

 **Mother, I Am Sorry**

The River Ocean Has A Well Of Its Own.

One Must Let The Water Flows Where It Must.

 _'And this is where the waters took me. This is where it was meant to flow.'_

 _'Mother, will I finally be able to see you? To hold you?'_

He was free. He was finally freed from a life as a tree, but that didn't change what had happened. He had hurt his mother and robbed himself of much in order to ensure his birth.

Merlin was the living proof that the River Of Time runs its own course and comes full circle. A thousand years ago, he drunk from the Holy Grail, yet he had only been born roughly Three hundred years before Emma freed him.

Two hundred and eighty years ago...

"Mother?"

"Merlin" The cloaked woman appeared before her child. "What are you doing here?"

"You asked to see me." He reminded her as he glanced at a large tree next to her. There was something odd about it.

"I did..." She paused to stare at the tree. "There are two things I wanted to know. The first has been answered."

"What was the question?' Merlin questioned his mother.

"Has my son become a tree?" She laughed as she pulled her hood down. She looked no older than seventeen, yet she had been alive for nearly two hundred years.

"Why would you think I had?" He seemed puzzled.

"Reasons." She stated softly. Her eyes never left the wooden plant. It was clear that something was wrong. "But they don't matter. You are not a tree." She beamed as she looked at her boy.

"Clearly." He smiled back though he could tell she was still bothered. "What was the second matter?"

"That woman you were seeing-"

"I ended things with her months ago." Merlin laughed it off. "You needn't worry about her being around any longer."

"I know I said...I was told...your heart would be broken and I have been harsh towards her because of it." She sighed out. The tree seemed to shake slightly as she spoke."But I-"

"I do not love her." He explained. "I know now I never did."

"Please, let me finish." She rushed out. It was clear that what she was trying to say was painful. "It's important."

"I don't want to talk about her."

"I do." His mother firmly shouted. "Do not turn your back to me?"

"I'd rather leave than speak of her." Merlin declared.

"I just need you to listen. You do not need to speak." She stressed. He glared at the ground as he waited to hear her out. "Thank you. Now, as I said, I believe I have been unfair to her and ask that you rethink-"

"What is that?"

"Well, if you let me speak-"

"Not that." Merlin pointed to something just past the tree. It was a sliver liquid that was flowing oddly towards the roots and climb up it. "That's not normal."

"No, it is." She remarked as she moved to look at the sliver colored water. "It is from the River Ocean. It does not belong here."

"That thing grandfather was keeper of?"

"Yes, do not touch it." She stated as she made a jar appear in her hand. "Since it is away from its source and I have no idea who left it, it could do anything."

"But it is just water." Merlin chuckled as he stepped closer to it.

"And I am but a girl." She pointed to herself to remind him that all is not what it seemed to be. Even so, he leaned forward to gaze at it.

"Why is it sliver?"

"It is not." She explained as she inched forward. "That is merely time, magic, and light reflecting off of it." Something moved behind her. She turned for a moment to see who could be there. In that moment, Merlin reached his hand towards the sliver thing and it shot up to grab him. He screamed in surprise as his mother took hold of his free wrist.

"What's it doing?"

"No idea. Just pull with me." She told him as the water grew to cover his arm. It went further and further up his body. Merlin knew that there was only one thing he could do. He pushed his mother off of him and let the strange water cover him. "Merlin!"

"I'm sorry." He whispered as sliver clouded his vision. "I'm sorry."

He awoke, spirits knew how much later, to find that he was in a land not his own. It was only after seeing his long dead grandfather that he realized the strange water didn't take him to a new land, but to a different time. His poor mother, Sybelle, was left all alone and there was no way he could get back to her.

Xxx

He drank from the Holy Grail and thought of his mother. She had yet to be born while he was struggling to survive. He thought of how she must be feeling as he placed his hand on the dead land. To his amazement, the land turned green and full of life. He had magic. This was a sign from the Heaven's. This was a path to reuniting with his mother.

Xxx

Three hundred years past from the day he drank from the holy chalice. He found that even with his new found powers he could not travel back to his time. When he had questioned Oceana, his future grandmother and queen of the Nereids, she had told him that the River Ocean does what it thinks is best to ensure the correct course of history.

"So, it would not send someone to their correct time period after it displaced him or her?'

"I am confused." Oceana replied softly. "If the River Ocean sent someone to a time period than would that not be their correct time? Would they not belong there?"

"But they were born and raised on days yet to past. That is their true home and where they belong." Merlin argued.

"Says who?" The queen wondered aloud. "As far as I know, it is not in anyone's power to say how magic should and should not behave. We may control it as best we can, but magic has its own will. It finds a way to balance matters out and correct what has been altered. If a person is displaced by the River Ocean, than it is for a good reason."

"I am not so sure of that." Merlin frowned. She sighed as she closed her eyes in thought.

"I may not understand why you are asking such questions, but I owe you enough to try to answer as best I can." She opened her eyes and smiled at the forest Merlin had created three hundred years before.

"Be beg your pardon." He thought back to all he had done since his journey into the past. "I have no idea why you would owe me."

"I imagine you would not." She smiled at him. "As I said before, magic has a way of doing what it wishes instead of what you thought it would." She waved her hand towards over the woods and trees. "Take this place. This once was a place of sand and dust. I was in battle for the future of all the realms not far from here. I am not sure if I would have won that day. My wing was badly hurt. I could hardly see straight and my enemy was well armed. Yet," she beamed at the wizard. "Not of nowhere the land started to turn green and plants appeared that kick my would be killer to the ground. While you were transforming this land, you had unknowing helped to ensure my future."

"Is that so?" Merlin was in awe of this news.

"Yes, it is." She was studying him very closely. There was something odd about his reaction. It was as though he found the news shocking, life changing. Why would he care so much that he had saved her life? As far as she knew, she had done nothing to harm him in any way. In fact, she and her husband had been helping the light against the shadows for some years now.

"Well, it is a good that I helped you." He smiled after a moment.

"Is it? You seemed to grow pale over the news of your aid." She pointed out.

"It is a great shock to hear that I saved someone as important as you." He answered honestly. "While I have since been very careful with the use of my powers, I never once thought that the day I came upon my abilities was a day of great importance to anyone but myself."

"Would you rather that you had not aided me that day?" She wondered as she stepped closer to him. There was something not right about this wizard.

"No, I am very grateful that I have helped you." He promised her. "Without you, there could be no me."

"There could not have been? Or there could not be?" She wanted to make sure she heard him right.

"Ha, if you want answers of the future, you have your own waters to look into." He laughed. He knew that her question was one he could not answer. For the sake of his future, she could not know who he was... at least not yet.

Xxx

Love and the heartbreak that followed made him think once more of his mother. She had yet to be born, but he felt that she was still with him, still teaching him things. 'Merlin, true love does not always end up happily. But once you felt it, no matter how awful it may turn out... you would never wish to change a moment of it.' She had once told him. He had been a young boy, ten at the time. He had doubted that her words. What she was saying made no sense? If it hurt her, if it caused her nothing but pain in the end, why would not she not wish to remove it forever from her life?

Now that he was older, and had true love in his life, he understand his mother in a whole new light. So, no matter how badly things ended with his own love, he would never regret meeting her. Instead, he would spend his time devoted to saving her from herself and aiding those she had hurt.

Xxx

"There is a being called the Dark One." Oceana stated one night as she appeared behind Merlin. He knew that this day was coming, but had not been ready to face it.

"Do you not have enough to worry over at the moment?" He sighed as he turned to look at her. "You are in two wars and mother to five-"

"Four!" She cut him off with a dark look in her eyes. She would never accept that thing as her child, never!

"And mother to four." He frowned. He felt bad for South Ren, yet he understood why his grandmother refused her own child. "Why worry about something that does not affect you?"

"Because I fear it one day will." She informed him. "I have some ideas on how to handle her. I just need your help in order to-"

"I will not help you kill her." He shook his head.

"Would you rather she kill you?" Oceana sneered back. "Because that is what she will do."

"I will not hurt her."

"And I will not let her hurt you if I can help it." The queen of Nereid was firm on the matter.

"You owe me nothing." Merlin shouted. "Nor do I want anything from you."

"That is not true." His future grandmother clarified. "I would imagine you would still want me to birth more children." She snapped out. "Or has your mother been yet?"

"What gives you-"

"I am not stupid." She regained herself. "Your questions, the fact you look like my husband...and are not his child. Plus, you appear at the birth of each of my child and seem disappointed each time."

"How long have you known?" He asked her with a hint of shame lacing his words.

"That is not important. What matters is that I know."

"I love her..." He told his grandmother about his feelings for the Dark One. "I can not-"

"I understand." She sighed out. "While I may not love my husband, I doubt I could harm him. I could only imagine what I would do to protect him if I had feelings for him. I only ask that you stand out of my way when the time comes. I will kill her, to protect you and my children. I may not be a very loving woman, but I protect what is mine."

"That is the pixie way." He scowled at her with a bit of disgust.

"Quite." She agreed. She paused before leaving. She clearly was upset that he refused to end the evil that he had created. "Since you are my grandchild, I have a gift for you." She slowly moved towards him and held out a small bottle of sliver liquid. "That is a bit of the River Ocean, in case you wish to try and go back to your 'right' time period."

"I will not use this." Merlin gritted his teeth together. "I will not run and leave her for you to hurt."

"Do what you think is best." She narrowed her eyes. "And I shall do as I must. Wars or not, I can not ignore a threat to my kingdom and family."

"Grandmother or not, I can not let you harm her when she can be saved."

"You can not save someone who does not wish to be." She replied back. "But some lessons are best learned the painful way." She thought to herself before disappearing. He vowed to prove his grandmother wrong.

Xxx

Summer turned to winter back into summer. The seasons changed and Merlin would not have noticed the passage of time had it not been for his young ward. Although he could not see his future clearly and he did not have all the answers, he knew what he was meant to do. To ensure his mother's birth, his own, and all the good work he had done, he would have to sacrifice something important to him.

That night he informed his apprentice on what he needed to do in the future. That night, Merlin also cried for his mother and himself. While he still planned to prove his grandmother wrong, the great wizard also readied himself for failure. In his heart and soul, he believed he would prove Oceana was wrong.

xxx

Instead, he had proved her right. He had been cursed and would miss the birth of his mother. While there was still two hundred years until she came into this world, Merlin knew that he would not be freed until she was at least five hundred. It pained to know that by the time he would see his mother again it would have been a thousand years for him and two hundred and eighty years for her.

"My dearest grandchild, my first grandson..." Oceana sighed out as she placed a hand on his tree. "I see now why you did not wish her harm." She leaned her head against the wood and closed her eyes with a heavy heart. "I too am in love with someone. I imagine that I must have been for a very long time. It was he that I went to when my home...my world...was burning all around me."

"I am with a child, twins in fact." She touched her stomach. "They are not your mother. I can sense that much, but more importantly I feel that they are different. I feel a lightness inside the babes... the touch of something I always thought impossible for myself."

Oceana was a very proud woman. She rarely cried in pain and hadn't shed a tear since the day Triton forced himself on her. She had foolish thought herself safe, protected and free from danger. She had married a powerful man. She had gained a great deal of power herself and had earned the love of the Nereid people. They would have dead for her. **They were dying for her.**

"One of the greatest pains I had ever endured was when my wings were torn from my body, my home lay burning, and I watched my kin, my follow pixies be slaughtered before my eyes. I was afraid and ran towards the protection of your grandfather. I thought with his power and sense of honor...he would aid me until I could seek my revenge." She paused to pull herself away from the mighty branches.

"When I was taken against my will, I locked myself in my chambers and would speak with no one but your grandfather. I thought that he alone was allowed to see me broken, scared, and hurt. He had once seen me at my worst. I would trust that he would let me have my moments of grieving without thinking me weaker or pity me."

"Yet, I see now why it was him that I ran to and why he alone I let see me broken. I have loved him for years, but could not let myself be lowered to such foolish ideas." She gave a weak smile towards the tree. "I believe he must love me too. This war with his brother is truly one of pride, but his actions outside the battlefield prove he cares for me."

"I pray to the spirits I am right and will not be creating some kind of paradox."

xxx

The leaves changed color. They went from light green to a darker shade then to yellows and browns before falling off. Again and again the circle of color, light, darkness, snow, death and rebirth formed around him. While the Merlin tree remained unfazed, the world around was becoming changing. Oceana had succeeded in removing Nimue, she had failed to destroy the Dark One. It seemed the power would not die. But she kept on trying and in time she had a plan that seemed to cover all the right bases.

"I wonder if you realize what is going on about you." Oceana stated to her transformed grandson. "Hm, you want through so much... what a pity that you never got what you wanted. Would you feel happy if you did now? Or would you be unaware of it?" She amused before vanishing.

xxx

"Motheeer, why are we here?" A small child asked Oceana.

"Mother." The queen corrected her child. "You must speak clearly."

"I try mother." The young child assured her mother.

"I know my dear." The queen beamed. "But you must try harder. Respect is not something one just gives you. It needs to be honored."

"And since I am but a babe, in the eyes of our people, I need to do my best to stand beside my sisters ather..."

"Rather," her mother cut in. "Rather than in their shadow." Oceana sighed as she picked up her four year old child. She faced them towards a large tree. "This is Sybelle. She is my finally child. If it is not her, than I am sorry. I can not have any more children nor do I wish to. Honestly, I have given birth eight times and only one should have the right to the throne."

"Big sister." The little Sybelle grinned. Oceana rolled her eyes. She would rather die than let that happen. Atlanta would make a horrible queen. The current queen was sure of this.

"Put your wings away."

"Yes, mother."

"Now, place your hand on the tree and say something kind."

"Something kind?" The small child seemed to think this odd.

"Something you would say to someone you love."

"Someone I love?" Sybelle frowned. She gazed at the tree in deep thought. She quickly smiled and placed her fingers against the wood. "I wish to give you a gift." The little girl made a small toy appear. "This is my favorite doll. I like to sleep with it at night when I have nightmares... they make me lonely. She makes me feel better... she will make you feel better too. Now, you will not be lonely...because, she will be here and that means...a part of me will be to. So, you do not need to feel lonely anymore. I am here."

The brunches of Merlin's tree swayed back though there was no wind. The tiny child and her mother both could sense the massive amount of emotions racing through him.

"You are crying." Oceana wiped the tears from Sybelle's face. "What is the matter?" The woman gently smiled.

"He is sad for me." The little princess stated. "Why is sad for me?"

"I am not sure as to why, but I know that those with great stories often went through the most impossible odds. It maybe that you will have a powerful story and he knows that."

"I guess..." Sybelle seemed to be thinking something over. "I guess if it is for my people...I will happy to have a hard future if it means they have a better one."

"Ah, you may be more open with your heart, but you truly are your father's daughter."

xxx

"Merlin?" A much older Sybelle gaped at the tree. "This rune most be broken!" She sneered at the charm in her hand. "First, it does not guide me to Malcolm in the after life and now, it tells me my son is a tree! How can my son be a tree!"

"Could the rune be right and it is your child?" Lou questioned from behind her. She was not use to him being around just yet, but she found him likable.

"Ugh, it could be possible, but not very." Sybelle placed hand on a root as she kneeled down. "This tree has been here since before my birth. It is very old... nearer to my mother's than anything else in this area. And yet...I feel my son. I feel Merlin." She seemed highly distressed by her thoughts.

"I can send word for him to meet you here." Lou stated as he watched her carefully.

"Please do." She stood up swiftly. "For something is not right, and I can not have this threatening my life when..."

"I understand." He nodded his head. "I shall bring him back as fast as I can."

xxx

Sybelle sat cloaked within the tree. She could feel a strong bond between it and her, but nothing else. No spell or chant she used gave her answers. It only left more questions. Plus, nothing she did made the wooded being spoke to her. It either could not or would not speak with her. This troubled her greatly. It made her fear for her boy and his future. There was so much that she had to tell him.

"Mother?"

"Merlin" Sybelle appeared before her child. "What are you doing here?"

"You asked to see me." He reminded her as he glanced at a large tree next to her. There was something odd about it.

"I did..." She paused to stare at the tree. "There are two things I wanted to know. The first has been answered."

"What was the question?' Merlin questioned his mother.

"Has my son become a tree?" She laughed as she pulled her hood down. She looked no older than seventeen, yet she had been alive for nearly two hundred years.

"Why would you think I had?" He seemed puzzled.

"Reasons." She stated softly. Her eyes never left the wooden plant. It was clear that something was wrong. This plant felt like her son, yet he was standing before her. What could this mean? Still, her son was not a tree and there was something she needed to know. "But they don't matter. You are not a tree." She beamed as she looked at her boy.

"Clearly." He smiled back though he could tell she was still bothered. "What was the second matter?"

"That woman you were seeing-"

"I ended things with her months ago." Merlin laughed it off. "You needn't worry about her being around any longer."

"I know I said...I was told...your heart would be broken and I have been harsh towards her because of it." She sighed out. The tree seemed to shake slightly as she spoke."But I-"

"I do not love her." He explained. "I know now I never did."

"Please, let me finish." She rushed out. It was clear that what she was trying to say was painful. "It's important." Yes, it was very important.

"I don't want to talk about her."

"I do." His mother firmly shouted. "Do not turn your back to me?"

"I'd rather leave than speak of her." Merlin declared.

"I just need you to listen. You do not need to speak." She stressed. He glared at the ground as he waited to hear her out. "Thank you. Now, as I said, I believe I have been unfair to her and ask that you rethink-"

"What is that?"

"Well, if you let me speak-"

"Not that." Merlin pointed to something just past the tree. It was a sliver liquid that was flowing oddly towards the roots and climb up it. "That's not normal."

"No, it is." She remarked as she moved to look at the sliver colored water. "It is from the River Ocean. It does not belong here."

"That thing grandfather was keeper of?"

"Yes, do not touch it." She stated as she made a jar appear in her hand. "Since it is away from its source and I have no idea who left it, it could do anything."

"But it is just water." Merlin chuckled as he stepped closer to it.

"And I am but a girl." She pointed to herself to remind him that all is not what it seemed to be. Even so, he leaned forward to gaze at it.

"Why is it sliver?"

"It is not." She explained as she inched forward. "That is merely time, magic, and light reflecting off of it." Something moved behind her. She turned for a moment to see who could be there. In that moment, Merlin reached his hand towards the sliver thing and it shot up to grab him. He screamed in surprise as his mother took hold of his free wrist.

"What's it doing?"

"No idea. Just pull with me." She told him as the water grew to cover his arm. It went further and further up his body. Merlin knew that there was only one thing he could do. He pushed his mother off of him and let the strange water cover him. "Merlin!"

"I'm sorry." He whispered as sliver clouded his vision. "I'm sorry."

"Merlin!" She screamed after he had vanished from sight. "Merlin!" The sky grew dark as she turned all around to see where he had gone off to. Yet, no matter which way she looked, she could not find him. He was no longer there. She could not feel her child, the boy she had raised, in this world. Instead, she felt something much older pulling at her. She glared at the tree.

"My lady!" Lou rushed to her side. He had been far enough away to give them privacy, but close enough that he had heard her screaming for her child. "What has happened?"

"I do not know." Her whole body shook. "But it knows." She pointed at the mass of wood before her. "It knows what become of my child, my boy." There was movement in the bushes near them. Louis was about to see what could there when Sybelle used her magic to pull a man out of the forest. The ginger male cursed himself for not having ensured Sybelle was truly alone with her son.

"I only did as I was asked." The old man stared her down. The princess wondered if he was a very brave man or a fool.

"By who?" She locked eyes with him. "My sisters? One of their supports?"

"None of them." The man assured her.

"Than who?" She roared at him.

"By him." He pointed towards the tree without any signs of fear. "By your son, Merlin."

"What is the meaning of this?" Louis snapped. "That can not be her boy. The man who has here with her was-"Sybelle held up her hand and silenced her servant.

"Enough." She released the old man. "I can speak for myself." She warned the gingered haired human. "Who gave you that bottle? The one with the water?"

"Your son."

"How did he get it?" She coldly questioned as she studied him.

"Your mother gave it to him."

"Why would she do that?" Sybelle asked the man as though they were the only two people about. Lou glared at the ground in announce. He hated when she treated him like this, but he understood. She needed to focus on the problem at hand.

"To return him to his right time."

"But he did not use it." She could tell as much.

"No, he did not."

"Why not?" She nearly snapped.

"You know why." The man replied.

"You do?" Lou was in awe as he saw a change in his mistress. Her rage seemed to cool.

"I believe I do." She breathed in.

"Why would he not use it?" Lou hoped she would tell him the answer. He hated being lost.

"Back when you were still human, you trained to become a knight before my kingdom fell." She forced him to recall.

"I did." It pained home to think about the home he had lost and the years that lead him to her.

"Do you remember some of the teachings our kingdom held dear?" He nodded his head as she closed her eyes. "Tell me what you recall."

"The River Ocean is the source of all. It flows through all of us and is ever present. It is the passage of time and a signal moment. It is magic in its purest sense. It is through the River Ocean that all things are possible and our destiny is shaped. It is through this Great River that he were brought to where we belong."

"My son touched the River Ocean..." She whispered. "And it took him away...it took him to where he belonged." She touched the tree with a heavy heart. "It took him away from me and to a place where he was needed."

"He understood that he could not return back to you." The old man frowned. "Though he truly wished to see you, there was work he needed to do."

"How did he become like this?" She inquired. "If I knew how, I may be able to-"

"No, you can not." The old man sighed out. "He foresaw his future and you were not the one to free him. Someone else will do that."

"When will he be freed?"

"I do not know." The man seemed deeply upset. "He did not tell me."

"Hm, than this makes things hard." She bit her lip in thought. "This was not the way I wished him to find out about this."

"About what?" The old man glanced between her and Lou.

"About the child he is to have." Sybelle could feel Merlin's pain in the air. "He is to be father in a few months. It would seem that I will have to raise her until he returns."

"If she lives that long..." Lou muttered.

"True, she could die." The princess agreed. "So, I shall keep her safe in a land of some control over." She grinned. "I have a place where no being will dare touch her and I will make sure that even at a young age, she will know the kind of monsters that will try to befriend her." She vowed. "There her mother and she will grew without a care in the world. They shall be safe."

xxx

Once Merlin's child was born, Sybelle took the girl to the realm of Hel. It was a sad event as the mother did not make. This fueled the princess's need to protect her grandchild as entered a thriving casino. She swiftly walked past people playing slots or table games and headed up a grand staircase. Hold the baby firmly in her arms, she placed a curse on the building and all those inside.

"Let the nature of your hear and soul be the appearance you bare further from this day on." She hissed to the room. All those inside the building started to change. They turned into different sorts of creatures, monsters, and other nasty beasts. The residences of Halloween Town would never look at Sybelle the same way again, nor would they dare enter her home from that day on. Even when she lifted the curse a few years later from the casino, no one was brave enough to set foot in her home. They feared her too much and the frightmares she kept to dare come away near her. These the Queen of Fear was born in order to protect the only thing she had left of her family, the tiny infant Shock.

Xxx

Merlin was not sure what become of his mother and child after that. They had, from time to time, gone to see him, but their visits grew shorter and less often as the years went on. His mother was busy readying herself for war while his daughter felt too much pain being near him. He could not blame them. He understood. It hurt him a great deal to see them and it must have hurt them a lot more. He had years to get use to be cursed and work out his feelings. This was all new to them.

"Father, did you not see me? Could you not see me?" His daughter would often question him when they were alone. "Why will you not speak to me?" She begged for answers, but there was none that he could give her. His powers were limited and he needed to focus on stopping the Dark One. He had to be careful with what he did.

In the end, he did appear to her. Yet, it was not the way he knew she wanted, no needed, to see him. He gave her one signal task in order to protect the realms and vanished. It was cruel and cold of him, but it was the only thing he could do. He did not trust himself to say more to her.

Besides, he would get the chance to explain himself once he was freed.

Xxx

He was free. He was finally freed from a life as a tree, but that didn't change what had happened. Merlin was the living proof that the River Of Time runs its own course and comes full circle. A thousand years ago, he drunk from the Holy Grail, yet he had only been born roughly Three hundred years before Emma freed him. His daughter was born a number of years later without him being present. Her mother had died too. Merlin had left his child an orphan in the vain hope to destroy the darkness he had brought into this world.

He was free. He was finally freed from a life as a tree, but that didn't change what had happened. He had hurt his mother and robbed himself of much in order to ensure his birth. While he could never regain the years he had lost with them, nor could he truly make it up, he was ready to finally hold his child in his arms and tell his mother how sorry he was.

He would finally be able to earn their forgiveness.

 **End Notes** : If you want to know why I have not been around lately, there are two very good reasons. The first, being that I needed a Once break. You do not even know how much I have to watch a given episode to ensure I matched what is being said and that I haven't changed too much from the story to make Family? work. Add that with the fact, I don't like Tamara's arc and you can understand why I needed a bit of time for myself. (I mean really. Emma has never been wrong when it came to her powers. Ever! She's always proven right, but hey ignore her and tell her she's just emotional! That's why Neil is shot and Henry is taken!)

That aside, the second reason is that I was writing this one-shot. Time travel stories are very tricky on there own. Add a time travel story that explains how everything I said about Merlin's birth is still true and make it so that the show canon works too is a bit harder. I knew at once when I saw how Merlin got his powers what had happened to Sybelle's son. With the creation of "The First Dark One," I needed to explain how Sybelle was able to create Zoso as the Dark One if it had been going on for awhile. (I put it in quotes as Gaia is known as by the name Dark One, but she is not the First Dagger Dark One. That is Nimue. There's a difference in the two, but it overall does not matter as Gaia is dead and will not appear in any form.)

In short, time travel has to form a clear circle. The end and beginning have to match up perfectly, or enough so, that it works itself out. I think with this chapter I was able to do a well enough job. I also finally got to flesh out Oceana and her story. I had really wanted to do that sooner, but it never seemed to fit right. Here, it went beautifully and I was pretty happy with all the parts she was in.


End file.
